


if there's a shadow, there must be a light

by Smutlix



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Depression, M/M, Suicide Attempt, its basically lix saving jinnie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23234152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smutlix/pseuds/Smutlix
Summary: Felix is out for a stroll in the evening when he sees something much like himself, holding way too many pained memories.if there is a shadow, there must be a light.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix
Comments: 10
Kudos: 67





	if there's a shadow, there must be a light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hoonhao_love](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoonhao_love/gifts).



> Dear Jade,  
> I can't express how happy you made me today. You make me feel really, really warm. 
> 
> This work was originally posted on March, but I decided to change it up a bit, and I hope it's not late to gift you this, petal. 
> 
> Yours truly,  
> Macy.

It's a cold winter evening in Seoul and Felix is walking towards the Han bridge; a place holding much too many emotions to him, when he sees a boy slightly taller than him trying to climb on the rail.

Although he hopes that the boy isn't trying to do what he thinks he is, Felix is proven wrong when the boy proceeds to climb over and almost lets go of the rail before he is interrupted by Felix' voice.

"What are you doing?"

The boy, whose face is now fully visible, looks pained. His eyes are turned downward in a sad way and his cheeks are stained with dried tears.

"You can go. It's okay." He says, smiling sadly, as if waiting for the freckled boy to leave.

"No, no! This isn't okay. I don't feel okay. I can't feel okay!"

The taller male looks startled as Felix speaks to him in a hysterical manner, with beautiful brown eyes brimming with tears, as he gently tries to bring him off the rail and onto the footpath.

"I don't know what makes you do this, but.. It's so cold outside. It must be really cold if you do this right now. L-look at me. Don't do this."

Felix is sobbing at this point, and his words would have been almost incoherent if not for the silence of the chilly dusk. The younger boy cries and hiccups, trying to hold the taller male in his arms, trying his best to comfort the boy when he can barely comfort himself.

The taller boy looks guiltily at the younger.

"Why are you crying? It's my fault. I made you cry."

"It's not your fault. You're so precious. You must live." Felix says through hot tears, completely squishing the other boy in a warm and tight hug. 

A thick silence is followed, only with the sound of Felix' sniffles and the flowing of the wind against the cold water of the river beneath the bridge. Taking a deep breath, the taller boy interrupts this silence.

"Have you ever thought about taking your own life?"

Felix remains quiet for a while, but soon nods his head slowly against the boy's chest, finding warmth and the feeling of familiarity upon listening to his steady, unstopping heartbeat.

"Yeah. I almost did once. But living life is better than not. Someone once told me that it isn't my fault and that I must live,” he sniffled. "If you really want to do it, then today's sunshine was too bright and beautiful to do that. Today's meal was too delicious to do that. He told me to live every day with a single, tiny reason."

When the taller boy had asked Felix the question, he wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. 

The younger boy's words were so beautiful, so deep, and they stirred something in him. He peers down at the younger boy for a moment, studying him in the winsome atmosphere of dusk; the boy's fluffy lavender-blonde bangs were messily hanging over the side of his face, which was glowing and basking in the warmth emitted by the sinking sun. Constellation upon constellation could be spotted across his rosy cheeks, his cheeks puffing as he continued to ramble.

"I can't measure how big your grief is, but I -- I'm sorry if I'm being arrogant or insensitive to you, but I hope you don't feel wounded."

The taller boy wanted to protest; he was tired. So tired. 

Even if he did go on, all he'd feel would be agony, and he was useless, so what was the point in him living?

"It's just for today--", He started, but the freckled male was quick to cut him off. "Then also tomorrow."

The boy sighed. Well, he tried. But the freckled boy holding him looked like he'd rather fight the world than let go of him.

He could feel the smaller boy's tiny hands on his neck, a slight chill running down his spine.

"Your hands are cold." He comments.

"I'm sorry." Felix tries to remove his hands, but the taller boy hastily puts them back where the were.

"No.. I like it."

Upon his own tiny hands being held by the taller boy's much larger ones, Felix couldn't help but take a look at them. They had cuts all over and had marks and bruises covering them in a harsh red colour.

"Your hands seem sore." He says to the boy.

The boy apologizes and Felix instantly regrets saying that after hearing the boy's reply. Did he sound mean? He hopes not..

"That's okay." He says quickly, just in case.

"Do you want to come with me?" Felix offers, after an eternity passes with them just holding the other in their arms on the Han Bridge.

"I.. I don't even know your name."

"I'm Felix. You are?"

"...I'm Hyunjin."

"Okay then, Hyunjin. Wanna come?"

"O.. Okay."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! please check out my other work, 365 FRESH! 💓


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